Distracted

I am so distracted these days. When I was young, I managed to run a smooth household as a practically single mom to 4 kids (since Andy was out of town nearly every single week). I kept the house clean and organized, assigned the kids chores, and homeschooled all of them. I planned meals, I planned lessons, I shopped, I read, I exercised, I participated in homeschool co-op groups, I sat down on the floor and played with them. I even got up at the crack of dawn before they were awake so I could have a time of quiet prayer and Scripture reading. I made hot breakfasts every morning and hot lunches every afternoon between teaching. When I converted to Catholicism, I started attending daily mass on top of all that. Honestly, I don't know how I did it. 

My "prayer closet"

Now I barely get my old sleepy self out of bed by 6:00 AM to grab some coffee, read, and pray, but I find myself doing 47 different things the first hour without even cracking open the devotion book I intended to read. 

It goes something like this: I head to the kitchen to get my coffee, go to my guest room (which is my "prayer closet" when we don't have guests), and pull out my devotion book and prayer journal. Then my phone catches my eye and I wonder what my sleep score is (I use a Fitbit), so I check it. Then I decide I'll play the daily puzzle on WordScapes, which will "only" take a minute. I finish the puzzle and remind myself that I need to have my reading and prayer time now, but that triggers me to remember Facebook and how I should really check to see if any of my friends have posted any prayer requests overnight. Thirty minutes later, I realize I've been consumed by Facebook, so I close it and finally pick up my devotion book I am reading that day, which causes me to gaze at my delicious collection of spiritual books I have on my desk, each one with a lovely Saint bookmark somewhere in the middle because I can't seem to finish a book these days. So, of course, I pick one up to see where I left off...

When I finally get the self-discipline to open my devotional, I realize my coffee cup is empty and well, I need coffee when I read, right? Before I know it a couple of hours have flown by and I have not accomplished much at all. I feel I should be a better, more focused, more mature person at my age, but sometimes I feel like I have made no progress at all in the last 10 or 15 years. Time is marching on. I am not getting any younger, and what am I going to say to my Lord God after I die and He confronts me with the question of how I spent my time on this earth?

I lack self-discipline. I can blame it on distraction, but I make a choice to be distracted. This is something I need to pray about and work on. With God's grace, I know I can overcome it. 

Holy Spirit, come and dwell in me. Give me self-discipline to do the right thing and spend my time wisely.

Brisket

I made brisket yesterday for Patrick's birthday. It was soooo good - probably the best brisket I've ever made. That might be because this time our brisket came from a local family farm and not the grocery store. I don't know why we don't have brisket more often, it is so delicious. Maybe because it's just so dang expensive. But it's completely worth it. I could just eat a plate full of brisket and nothing else. Who needs sides?

I need to write down how to do it because I am always forgetting. This is how my mom made it. She taught my friend how to make it, and I have had to email her more than once to ask, "How do you make my mom's brisket?" Ha. I shouldn't forget because it is about as simple as it could possibly be.

Ingredients:

• Brisket, any size
• Fiesta brand fajita seasoning
• Water

Directions:

1. Heat oven to 225 degrees F.  
2. Place brisket, fat side down, in a baking pan and sprinkle generously with Fiesta brand fajita seasoning. Use tongs to hold the brisket on the sides and be sure to sprinkle the sides too. You can also rub the seasoning into the beef. 
3. Now flip the brisket so the fat side is up and sprinkle that side. You will be cooking the brisket fat side up so the fat juices will melt and drip into the meat.
4. Pour water into the pan so the brisket is sitting in about ½ inch of water.
5. Cover the pan tightly with foil. 
6. Bake for at 225 degrees for at least 1 hour per pound of brisket. A little longer doesn't hurt. I made a 4-pound brisket yesterday and set the timer for 4 hours. You can also bake it overnight at 200 degrees. Baste the brisket with the pan juices occasionally. You can turn the oven up during the last hour or so of cooking to speed things along. I made baked mac & cheese yesterday and turned the oven up to 400 for the last half-hour of cooking so that I could bake the macaroni in the oven with the brisket.
7. Remove brisket from pan, place on a cutting board, and trim off any large pieces of fat. Now slice the brisket against the grain, or chop brisket for sandwiches.
8. Transfer sliced brisket to a serving platter and pour a little of the pan juices on top. Serve with your favorite barbecue sauce, warmed. If you are serving chopped brisket, then mix it with a little barbecue sauce for serving.

It is actually delicious with no sauce, and it's zero carbs, of course!

Chaffleburger!

Okay, this time I didn't lose my phone and I took a picture! I made chaffles for lunch and used them for buns. They were so good - soft, fluffy. Fooled myself into thinking I was actually eating a bun. Chaffles are just eggs and mozzarella cheese mixed together and and fried in a waffle maker. (1 egg + 1/2 cup shredded mozzarella for 2 chaffles) And they are ZERO carbs!! I just got myself a mini Dash waffle maker from Amazon and I love it!

Andy had a chicken salad sandwich with his chaffles and I had a hamburger with alllllll the fixin's: lettuce, tomatoes, onions, dill pickles, mayonnaise, mustard, and sugar-free ketchup.

Chaffles are pretty delicious on their own too. Here's a chaffle smothered in melted butter and sugar-free maple syrup. The taste and texture is incredibly similar to real, fluffy waffles. You'd never guess you're eating egg and cheese. So yummy!

Pizza

I wish I had taken a picture. 

Edited 2/2/21: I made another pizza and here's the picture.

Keto Veggie Pizza: toppings are onions, peppers, mushrooms, and black olives. Mozzarella and cheddar cheese, and Rao's Pizza Sauce.

Last night, we had movie night with the girls and ordered pizza for them. I made a the (low-carb) Fathead pepperoni pizza for me and Andy that I've been making for years. But this time instead of shaping it with my hands, I put parchment paper over the top and rolled it out as thin as I could. Of course, this made the dough spread out much more than usual, so I placed a pizza pan over the top of the dough and cut around it with a sharp knife so it would make a perfectly shaped pizza that fit perfectly in the pan.

When it was all done, I had such a beautiful looking pizza! It seriously looked like a takeout pizza. I was going to take a picture, but I couldn't find my phone at the time (a phenomenon that occurs several times a day) and I was too hungry to look for it. Not only was it a gorgeous pizza it was sooooo delicious!! Better than ever before. The crust was much thinner than usual and reminded me of that wonderful greasy New York City pizza that you can only find in...well, New York City. I definitely want to make it this way again, so I'm writing it down. And next time I do I am taking a picture and adding it to this post. I will be sure to find my phone before I put the pizza in the oven.

There are so many "Fathead pizza" recipes out there and each one is a little different from the other, so here's the one I've been making for so many years that I think is perfect.  (Along with my new instructions for making a thinner crust and perfect circle-shaped pizza.)

For the crust:

• 1½ cups shredded mozzarella
• ¾ cup almond flour
• 2 TBSP cream cheese
• 1 egg
• ⅛ tsp xanthan gum
• Garlic salt

Toppings:

• Thick pizza sauce (I used Rao's last night - it is probably the best-tasting jarred pizza sauce you can buy and it happens to be low-carb)
• Mozzarella cheese, shredded
• Extra-sharp cheddar cheese, shredded
• Parmesan cheese, grated 
• Lots of pepperoni slices
• Italian seasoning
• Tools: parchment paper, pizza stone, pizza paddle, round pizza pan, rolling pin

Directions:

1. Place pizza stone on bottom rack of oven and preheat oven to 425*F.
2. Put mozzarella & cream cheese in a medium size glass bowl. Microwave for 30 second intervals, stirring at each interval, until cheese is completely melted and mixed well. 1½ minutes total is usually sufficient.
3. Beat egg and xanthan gum together in a small bowl. Add to cheese mixture. Add almond flour and mix with a wooden spoon until it comes together and makes a dough.
4. With wet hands, work the dough to mix well.
5. Make into a ball and place on parchment paper. Put another piece of parchment paper on top and roll out to make a thin crust. Peel away the top sheet of parchment paper. (Keep the pizza on the bottom piece of parchment paper for baking.)
6. Place a pizza pan over the top of the dough and use a sharp knife to cut around the pan to make a perfectly shaped circle.
7. Dock crust all over (use a fork) and sprinkle generously with garlic salt.
8. Use a pizza paddle to transfer the pizza crust to the oven. Place pizza (keeping it on the parchment paper) on top of the preheated pizza stone. 
9. Bake for 8-12 minutes, until starting to turn golden brown. (The time varies for me, so keep your eye on it.)
10. Use pizza paddle to remove from oven. Top with sauce, cheeses, and pepperoni. Sprinkle lightly with Italian seasoning. Return to oven and bake until sauce bubbles and cheese starts to brown, about 5 minutes.
11. Remove from oven, transfer to a pizza pan for serving, and allow to cool for 3-4 minutes before slicing.

I like to sprinkle more Parmesan cheese and some red pepper flakes on mine before serving. 

This really tastes so close to the "real thing." I have no more cravings for pizza when I make this crust!

Changes

It's been a long time since I've blogged regularly. In fact, I completely forgot about this blog. I tried my hand at blogging under my own domain for a few years, but it started stressing me out. I was spending way too much time writing for it and perfecting it and thinking about what to blog next and trying to organize it. And I worried way too much about whether my posts were any good. I missed just blogging for myself because I enjoyed it. I decided to stop paying for it. I've missed blogging and was thrilled to discover my old, FREE blog is still up. So, at least for now, I am going to blog again - just for fun, just a way of journaling for my future self.

I've been thinking about all the changes since my last posts here in 2014:

• Andy retired from the Air Force after 30 years of service and we moved to Pennsylvania. He now works in HR at the Navy Depot.
  
  
• Whitney, John & the grands all moved to Pennsylvania with us! They live about 20 minutes away from us. It's great and we see them often!
  
  
• River and Austen have transformed from toddlers to big kids, and we have 2 more beautiful grandchildren.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

• We finally bought a house with a swimming pool, something we have always wanted! We love spending our summers grilling out back and cooling off in our pool. We live on a cul-de-sac and have the best neighbors. We all get together often for playing cornhole or watching football. Of course, with the resurgence of stupid COVID right now we haven't been able to do much lately, but hopefully that will change soon.
  
  
  
  
  
  

• AJ graduated from CWU with a degree in business, works a state job and got married! He and his wife Hallie live in Washington.
  
  
• Sky graduated from college with a degree in nursing. She works as an RN in a hospital and  lives with us. She has a serious boyfriend named Patrick who is over here often. We consider him a part of the family.
  
  
• Emma graduated from high school in 2019 and is pursuing a degree in Art Education.
  
  
• My sweet buddy Luke died shortly after we moved here. I was devastated and missed him following me around everywhere. We adopted another goofball golden retriever puppy in December 2016 and named him Sammy. Then around Thanksgiving 2019 we adopted a little pitbull-beagle mix that our friends found wandering around in a Walmart parking lot. We named him Ollie. He is super cute and sweet, but much more serious than Sammy. I totally believe golden retrievers are the goofiest of all dog breeds.
  
  
  
  
  
  
• While Emma was still in high school, I started working in the cafeteria as a bonafide lunch lady! It was a busy job with fun coworkers that kept me moving around. The days went by super fast. But I wanted more freedom so I could travel with Andy when he went on business trips. So I quit, and started volunteering once a week. I got to travel to Hawaii with him and right after we came back COVID happened. So Andy hasn't had any work travel since last February. But Hawaii was AMAZING!!!
  
  
  
  
  
  
• I spent a semester training to become a volunteer CASA (court-appointed special advocate for a foster child) and was certified in December 2016. I have worked on two cases since.
  
  
• Like everyone else, I am sick and tired of COVID. Uggghhh

Bedtime & Birthday

I've been going to bed way too late recently. I do this in waves (fighting my nightowl tendencies). During the summer and early fall, I was actually making myself get into bed no later than 9:00 PM, just reading with a yellow-toned lightbulb in my lamp, and avoiding any electronics. That worked like a charm and I usually fell asleep before 10:00. I would usually wake up naturally at 5:00 AM without even trying. But then Andy and I went to Texas in October for my brother's wedding, and when we got home we had to self-quarantine for 2 weeks. As soon as our 2 weeks was up, the stupid COVID virus got crazy here in Pennsylvania, so we couldn't do anything but stay home to avoid it. Andy was already working from home, and I postponed going back to my volunteer lunch lady job indefinitely. I'm also a CASA volunteer* and have had to visit my foster child and attend court through Zoom for the last 3 months. We have our groceries delivered and shop Amazon Prime. We don't go anywhere. We do go out for daily walks regardless of the weather - it is the only thing keeping me somewhat sane right now. We also attend Sunday mass in the parking lot, streamed through the radio. Father brings the Eucharist out to our car for us. We appreciate him so much. The only people we have really seen since October has been our own kids who live in PA and the grandkids. Being "stuck at home," Andy and I started bingeing on some TV shows: The Walking Dead, Fear the Walking Dead, and Vikings. (I was so surprised how good TWD is, I was not expecting that.) Now after we've gotten everything done for the day, we sit down in the living room by the fireplace and watch these shows until we're all droopy eyed. I've been falling into bed between 11:00 and midnight. It's such a bad habit. So anyway, I'm blaming it on coronavirus. I'm so sick of it.

Yesterday was Andy's birthday and I made carnitas tacos for dinner and celebrated with an easy ice cream cake that I made. I made the pork in the Instant Pot in the morning, shredded it and kept it warm during the day while I got other stuff done. Then I spread it out on a baking sheet and crisped it up under the broiler before serving. It turned out really good!

We eat low-carb most of the time now days, but I'm not so strict that we never eat sugar or carbs on special occasions. I try not to get carried away when we indulge because carbs are so addicting and they make me tired and hungry and fat, so I'm back to normal today. Since Whitney has a newborn, we took the cake over to her house so we could celebrate with the grandkids.

We have 4 grandkids now. River is 11 (how did that even happen), Austen is 9, Chase is 6, and Wilder was born in November.

Then we came home and watched two Vikings shows and went to bed way too late. Again.

*CASA - court-appointed special advocate for a foster child. 

Restless Sleep

I didn't sleep well last night....well, I never seem to sleep well but last night was worse than normal. I kept waking up and having weird dreams that I can't remember. I was hot and kicked off my blankets, then I was cold and shivering, and covered up to my chin. This happened over and over.

But one thing happened that was especially strange and I remember it well. I had a dream in which I started hearing a whooshing sound. I use a fan at night for "white noise," and as I was sleeping, I was aware that I was asleep - or maybe I wasn't? I wondered what the whooshing was, and I could hear it very distinctly over the sound of my fan. Then I heard whispering. It sounded like two people, but I couldn't tell. I couldn't hear what they were saying. I looked across my dark room and saw the curtains part and the outline of faces looking into my room. They appeared to be standing outside my window, and continued whispering. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but their tones seemed mocking toward me. Then I thought, "That can't be real because I'm on the second floor of the house, and anyway, my window is not open so no one can part my curtains like that." I continued to watch them, and started to feel fearful. I knew I was dreaming but I was very aware of it. It was like I was awake yet dreaming at the same time. I tried to call out, "Who are you? What do you want?" But I was paralyzed. I couldn't make a sound and could not open my mouth to speak. I tried to open my eyes and I couldn't move. I don't know how long I lay there trying to open my eyes and mouth and couldn't budge, but it seemed like a long time. Finally I managed to slowly open my eyes. Everything was normal. The curtains were closed and I only heard the sound of my fan. I looked at the clock and it was just a few minutes past 3:00 AM. 

I don't know what to make of it all. Usually I forget my dreams by the time morning comes, but this one remains very clear in my mind.